Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
