If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
