In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
