plz talk dirty to me
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
