I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
50% drunk capacity currently
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
