Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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