oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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