Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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