its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
