break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
