windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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