he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Even my vagina gasped.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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