the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
