I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i came on her dog
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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