This girl is more easily done than said...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
