Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I pour the whiskey from now on
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
