He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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