Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
