you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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