how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just pee around me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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