can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
