I think my vagina is haunted
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
