I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
