guys are not supposed to queef...right?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
