Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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