doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
