And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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