so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize