Betty ford says i'm here all night
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
