You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
