party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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