i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize