I'm jealous of your bromance
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
