i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
