i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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