so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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