how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Less talking, more tequila
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
