Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize