i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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