is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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