but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
