We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
