Someone shit on the floor
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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