Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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