Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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