Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
