i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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