I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
