I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
