I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
