I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
