words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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