now i know why i became what i already was.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
