i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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