So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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