Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
