this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
