Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
