Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
