I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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