i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My bed smells like the plague
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
