how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
